Blackberry Cheesecake Bars

Oh dear.

I'm really sorry. No, truly, I am. It's only the middle of the week, and I have chosen to assault you with this image. But wait! It involves blackberries, cream cheese, oats, eggs, and butter. Depending on how creative you are, this can be considered very healthy.

Now that we are done fantasizing about the potential of health in the recipe, let's get down to business. We had those magnificent blackberries, and in the interest of being environmental and whatnot, I decided to bake with them before they went bad. See?! Delicious and resourceful. Clearly, this is a good idea.

The bones of this recipe are pretty basic. It's all the ingredients you probably have sitting around, minus the berries (You can, by the way, use any kind of berries. I just happened to have blackberries) and the cream cheese.

So we have sugar, salt, brown sugar, eggs, lemon juice, cinnamon, butter, etc, etc. There should also be a baking soda box involved in the picture, but I am a space cadet and forgot to put it out. Thus, we are no longer on speaking terms because I hurt it's feelings. However, do you see that tiny bag of flour at the back? Normally I buy giant bags, but I saw this itty-bitty bag and it was soooooo dang cute. I LOVE tiny things. Like baby pigs.

Ahem. Sorry about that. Carry on.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (I realize we are being abrupt, but now you see what happens when I get distracted). In a large mixing bowl, mix together the flour, brown sugar, cinammon, salt, and baking soda. Stir it all together, and toss in the melted butter. Ok, don't literally toss it in. That would be messy. Just pour the butter into the mixture and stir it together until it's crumbly and delightful. Kind of like this:

I suggest protecting this with your life. But maybe not everyone has to fight to save their in-process baking from prying hands. I have found wooden spoons help fight off hungry hordes the best.

Now, line a 8x8 baking pan with parchment paper. I was messy about it, but you are probably better at it then I am. Once you've done that, press in the mixture along the bottom. Set aside about three-quarters of a cup for the topping.

I really wish I had painted my nails before this. They are really quite bad. And now you've noticed just how bad they are. Crud.

Now shove the pan into the oven, set the timer for 12 minutes, and forget about it for a little bit. We have to get to the really important stuff.

Look! Look how healthy this is. You can even see the blackberries in between the sugar. I am a crusader for all things healthy. To make this delight, put the blackberries, sugar, and cornstarch into a saucepan. Stir them together, GENTLY. Otherwise, everything just falls apart. Like, the entire world, literally. Now add in the lemon juice and begin heating the mixture. Stir every once in a while, and don't let it burn. Soon, you will have this magical concoction below.

It should take about seven minutes to get to this point. Now set it aside and let it cool a little while. You have taken the oat mixture out of the oven by now, haven't you? If it's smoking, you might want to consider a redo. If all has gone well so far, its time to pour the berry mix over the oats.

Mmmmmmmm. And the best part is yet to come. Now we get to deal with the cream cheese and even more goodness. The cream cheese should be soft by now. Beat it with an electric beater (or manually, depending on how big your biceps are) until its smooth, then add in the granulated sugar and vanilla.

So that doesn't look so amazing. But now you can add the egg. Just one is all you need. And whip that up until it's smooth and creamy and looks kind of like this:

I can't even deal. It took every ounce of strength to not just attack this with a spoon. Luckily, I have lots of self control. Kind of. Instead, I just poured it over the berries and oats in the pan. Swirl it together a little bit. Write your name, make pictures, draw a rainbow. Or don't. As long as it looks something like this, you're on the right track.

I can't even deal.

Remember that oats mixture that we didn't bake? Provided it hasn't been eaten, sprinkle it over the top. All of it.

Nom nom nom. Before you break down, put it in the oven. Let it sit there for about 30 or so minutes. After 30 minutes, the top should be golden brown and the inside be bubbling just a little bit. Sit it out to cool. Seriously, it has to cool. Now is the time to summon your willpower.

I KNOW. Ugh, and now it has to cool at room temperature, and then into the fridge. For a whole hour. Talk about agony. But the payoff, I find, is worth it.

Goodness. I'm not sure I can handle this.

I have had many failures in the kitchen, but I don't think this is one of them. Enjoy my non-failure.


Blackberry Cheesecake Bars

Ingredients

Crust
-1 and 1/2 cup of rolled oats
-1/2 cup of flour
-1/2 cup of packed brown sugar
-1/3 tsp of baking soda
-pinch of salt
-pinch of cinnamon
-6 tbsp of butter, melted

Blackberry Mixture
-2 cups of blackberries (or more, depending on how you feel)
-4 tbsp of granulated sugar
-2 tsp of cornstarch (Mix it with water, otherwise you will make the same mistake I did the first time I made something with cornstarch. Icky icky.)
-3 tsp of lemon juice

Cream Cheese Filling
-1 package of cream cheese, softened (8 ounces)
-1/2 cup of granulated sugar
-1 egg
-1 tbsp of vanilla
-pinch of salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line an 8x8 baking pan with parchment paper and set aside.

2. Stir together oats, flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl. Melt the butter, and pour into the bowl. Mix until crumbly, then press mixture into the bottom of the pan. Reserve 3/4 cup of the mixture.

3. Put the pan into the oven and bake for 12 minutes. Meanwhile, stir together the blackberries, sugar, and cornstarch in a pan. Set it over medium heat, and add the lemon juice. Allow to simmer until the mixture thickens, about seven minutes. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.

4. Pull the baking pan from the oven, and pour blackberry mixture over the oats. Set aside. In another mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Add in sugar and vanilla extract, beat together. Add egg, beat until smooth. Pour over the blackberry mixture. Place the reserved oat mixture over the cream cheese filling and press in slightly. Place in oven and bake for 30 minutes, until golden brown and bubbling along the edges.

5. Set on wire rack to cool until room temperature, then place in refrigerator for one hour before cutting. Bars should be kept refrigerated and covered.