Hot Cocoa Sugar Cookies

Fall has come to Washington. The mornings are unbelievably cold, and the days are disgustingly perfect. You know those afternoons where it's sunny and breezy, with a little chill? It's just enough to make you want to put on a sweater and go wander around, savoring the last month that you can go outside without getting frostbite.

I took the terrorists out for a walk yesterday, when the weather was just like that. In hopes of finding the last blackberries of the season, we decided to go to our little hidden blackberry patch. When we got there, I tried to pick blackberries but didn't find any good ones. I collapse on the ground in tears and wailed to the heavens.

Just kidding. I picked as many as I could, and then wandered around. In the meantime, the dogs were off doing their thing. I let them off the leash, and they take off running, disappearing into the brush. Don't worry, we have never lost a dog. It's very hard to ignore the thunderous noise and trail of destroyed underbrush.

I stumbled across some more of that fresh mint, which is still alive and well.


These are some of my favorite days to bake, besides freezing cold winter days. I rifled through my drawers (not the undergarment kind, either), and didn't find any chocolate chips, and I once again collapse on the ground in tears and wailed to the heavens.

For real. Shortly after, I recovered, recollected my shreds of dignity, and decided to bake anyway. Here's what was the inspiration to today's carb debacle.

I found this sitting in the snack cabinet. I don't know where it's from, or how long it's been there, all I know is that it hasn't been used and is therefore mine. In my world, if I touched it, it is mine.

I think I'll bake something with some butter. But just a little.

Oh geez. That is not two sticks of butter.

Things are going downhill very quickly. Let me fix it real quick.

That didn't help at all. I give up. Maybe I should just put it in a bowl and see what happens.

I just love it when I throw in the towel. Along with a couple of eggs.

And then stir up said towel.

It's hard to take good pictures when you're smacking yourself with a wooden spoon. It gets easier from here. Just add the flour to make things better.

This part is optional, but I love vanilla and add it to everything I can. Things sometimes get a little out of control. I imagine that if I were ever hospitalized for a long period of time, I would request vanilla extract in my IV.

And boring old baking powder, which is really not all that boring because it makes my nom-noms even more nom-nom-ier. But still... not that exciting.

Now stir and stir until your arm feels like falling off and you want to die and your dough looks something like this.

Put the bowl in the fridge, along with a couple cookie sheets. Pace your kitchen floor and writhe in agony for about ten minutes, until the dough has chilled.

Now you can scoop out little balls of dough. I used a teaspoon, and just heaped it on.

Incidentally, did you notice my pretty pink nail polish? It makes me feel like a ballerina. Never mind the weird purple fingers. It's something in the air.

Form the dough into a little ball, and plop it into the bowl of hot cocoa mix.

Roll it around gently to coat. Take your time. Cuddle. Giggle. Allow yourself to enjoy the cocoa love.

Ahem... sorry.

Once you get your bearings again, place the coated dough on a parchment lined cookie sheet. Line them up about two inches apart.

I want to rest in their shade. BUT. They must be baked.

Preheat the oven, put the cookie sheets in. Cook for five minutes.

DON'T EAT THEM. Yet. Just rotate the pans, and bake for five more minutes. Don't panic, I promise it will be worth your time.

Oh, dear. Well, this is no good. And by no good, I mean completely and utterly delicious. The next few minutes of my life are going to be a big sugary nothing as I slip into a happy coma.

These won't even make it a day. And it will be my fault. They taste so amazing. And chewy. And soft. And sweet. Like they are injected with magic.

Good thing there are a lot.

Hot Cocoa Sugar Cookies

Ingredients

    -1 cup (2 sticks) of unsalted butter, softened

    -2 3/4 cups of all-purpose flour

    -1 1/2 cup of sugar

    -2 large eggs

    -Splash of vanilla extract

    -2 1/2 tsp of baking powder

    -3 tbsp of hot chocolate powder

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine the butter, sugar, vanilla and eggs. Blend until smooth.
2. Add the flour and baking powder, and mix until a sticky dough forms. Refrigerate dough for 10 minutes, along with two baking sheets. Place the hot chocolate powder in a small bowl.
3. Remove from refrigerator. Line the baking sheets with parchment paper, and set aside. Using a teaspoon, scoop a 1 inch round of dough from the bowl. Form into a sphere with your hands. Dip in the hot chocolate mix, rolling around to coat.
4. Line up dough on the baking sheet, about two inches apart. Place both cookie sheets in the oven, one in the middle and one in the upper third. Allow to bake for 5 minutes.
5. After five minutes, switch the cookie sheets. Bake for 5 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool for several minutes. Transfer to cooling racks to cool completely. Can be stored in airtight container for three days.

Because breakfast is always good

I have a confession- I love breakfast. Like I would sell my left hand for a really delicious plate of Eggs Benedict, because I love breakfast so much. And while I can't poach eggs to save my life, I could happily eat other breakfast options all day long.

Thankfully, G.I. Joe also loves breakfast. In fact, we find it very reasonable to buy a five dozen crate of eggs for two people, especially because we know they will all be eaten in a week. There is something very wrong with that.

The one unfortunate part of breakfast is that you have to cook it right after you wake up. I have gotten to the point where I don't actually remember how I make breakfast in the mornings; I just end up with a plate full of greasy deliciousness.

But on the days that I do feel motivated to broaden my horizons, the results are usually tots amaze. Sorry about the use of that phrase. I have been watching too much Project Runway.

This was one of those days. And I made scones. They were wonderful. Observe.

Om nom nom. I realize these pictures aren't beautiful, but frankly, these are scones. With chocolate. What more do you want from me?

As recipes go, this one is pretty basic. The key is being awesome. That's really about it. Start with flour, cinnamon, baking powder, and sugar.

Cut up some butter and throw it in the bowl.

Maybe a little bit more.

I am a crusader for health. You're very welcome.

Just so you know, as I'm writing this, I'm getting farted on by a sleeping puppy. And yet I'm still forging on, so that I might provide you with carb-joy.

Get out your trusty pastry cutter, and mash it all together until you get a coarse meal texture.

These pictures are really terrible, but at least you can see the little bits of butter poking out. It's like they're saying hi. Hi, butter!

There is something wrong with my ability to take pictures. I'm sorry to subject you to this, but I feel like pictures make everything better. Except my pictures, apparently.

Let's make ourselves feel better with another terrible pictures. Thankfully, this next one has chocolate in it.

Yeah. Just pour it all in, and stir it up.

Now it's time to bring out the heavy arsenal. Very heavy. Heavy on my belly. And thighs. And booty.

Pour some heavy cream into a bowl, add one egg, and a splash of vanilla. I discovered the joy of real vanilla extract fairly recently, and it is delightful. G.I. Joe bought me my first bottle. It was a good day.

That, my loves, is a glass bottle, as well as pure class. I'm moving up in the world.

Blend all of that up, and pour it into the dry ingredients. Blend it all up until it looks like the type of dough you would just throw away on any other occasion.

It doesn't look amazing. No matter, you will not be disappointed.

Turn the dough onto a floured surface, and use your hands to pat it out flat. This would be the time to pick your weapon, if there are other people in the house. I personally use a large wooden spoon. The "thwack" noise it makes when you hit somebody with it is so satisfying.

This would be a nice oval shape, except for that huge chunk missing up on the left. The spoon never made contact with G.I. Joe when he stole that piece. Frankly, I'm surprised any of this dough made contact with the oven.

Now we get to make the topping. This is another very healthy addition. Take a little bit of heavy cream, cinnamon, and sugar, and mix it all up. I made my topping a little more liquid than it should be, mostly because I wanted to sop up the rest with my fingers. I know, I'm a bad role model. This is what mine looked like, if you have any common sense, yours will be nice and crumbly.

Those are some good looking calories.

Sprinkle this little delight over your flattened dough. Use as much as you like. A lot is best. Remember, more is more.

Cut out wedges from the coated dough. I have this handy-dandy plastic pizza cutter do-dad that has served me well. It was a much better give-away than a Frisbee.

I really am embarrassed by how bad those wedges are. But I feel like the fact that I was fighting an epic hungry Army man battle should justify my poor cutting skills. Deal with it.

Once you cut up the dough, put it on a baking sheet. It's almost time for lift-off.

Those are awfully pretty, I say to myself. Meanwhile, you're thinking, "Those are terrible. That vanilla extract must have really gotten to her."

Bake your hopefully prettier than mine wedges in the oven. Let them cool on a wire rack. Or don't. Mine didn't make it to the cooling stage.

These were so delicious. I took them with me when G.I. Joe and I went on romantic outing. Romantic outing being we stood in the dirt and shot old speakers. He's mushy like that.

Like my little mask in the background? I decorated it myself with a Sharpie.

You should make these. Seriously. And not just for breakfast.

Although breakfast is good.

Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Scones

Ingredients
     -3 cups of all-purpose flour
     -1/3 cup of sugar
     -5 teaspoons of baking powder
     -1 teaspoon of cinnamon
     -1 cup (2 sticks) of unsalted butter, cut up
     -3/4 cups of heavy cream
     -1 large egg
     -1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
     -1 cup of chocolate chips
     -Topping
        -1/2 cup of sugar
        -1 teaspoon of cinnamon
        -1 1/2 teaspoon of heavy cream

Ingredients

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, cinnamon, and baking powder. Add the butter, and use a pastry cutter to incorporate the butter into the dry ingredients until it resembles coarse meal. Mix in the chocolate chips.

3. Stir together the cream, egg, and vanilla extract, then pour into the flour and butter mixture, mixing gently to combine.

4. Lightly flour a work surface, and turn the dough onto the surface. The dough will be very crumbly. Use your hands to press together the dough bits, and form into a large circle or rectangle, about 3/4 of a inch thick.

5. Mix together the topping ingredients in a small bowl, and sprinkle over the top of the dough. Lightly press in.

6. Cut the dough into wedges and transfer to a cookie sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, allow to cool completely. Devour with coffee and pajamas.

No Hotdogs for Den Mother

G.I. Joe's birthday is coming up, and I decided to gift him with baseball tickets to see the last game of the season. I figured it was a good present, since he loves baseball and I love hotdogs, soda, and yelling obnoxious things at people I don't know.

However, my body never told my brain that it planned to be sick. As such, I have been hacking and fishing green tissues out of my pockets. So I sent him off to the baseball game with some friends, because friends are more entertaining than a phlegm-filled Den Mother. As a result, I am spending the evening watching movies, painting my nails, and thinking of reasons why life is not fair.

And because I love you, readers, I decided to list the things that aren't fair.

1.  I went to the dentist today, like a good girl. They told me I have FOUR tiny cavities that need to be filled. Because I don't do enough things I hate in the name of my teeth.

2. No matter how much I vacuum and sweep, there is always dirt five minutes later. I have briefly considered not cleaning, then quickly succumbed to a panic attack.

3. Normal people can't afford these boots:

You know, because they have bills to pay and stuff. If you can afford them, we don't like you, and you can buy them here: http://www.net-a-porter.com

4. The world hasn't realized that everybody is entitled to my opinion.

5. Puppies are terribly cute, and it's very difficult NOT to adopt them. This is why we have three.

6. There will always be somebody who is prettier, smarter, or better at the thing you are best at.

7. There is only so many times you can blame the oven for an epic baking fail. 

8. The saddest movies are always on TV when you're home alone and overly emotional.

9. The people you went to high school with are fun to stalk online. And it's very addictive.

10. When you're in a bad mood, every bad driver comes out onto the road. Also, radio stations play terrible songs, and Wendy's runs out of chocolate Frosties.

Glad I could make your day.

Soup and Rain

I woke up yesterday morning feeling quite awful. G.I. Joe has bombarded me with medications ever since then, the most embarrassing of which is when I laid on the floor face down and screamed that I didn't want to take a throat lozenge. It also took me half an hour to drink a shot of Dyquil. Needless to say, my dignity is not intact anymore. It's hard to protest when you sound like Donald Duck.

The climax to this story is that we went to the store last night (G.I. Joe tried to make me stay home, but I am stubborn and not very bright) to get some sick rations. We made a beeline for the soup aisle and- horrors of horrors- they were completely out. No Campbells, no Progresso, nothing. We found the last little can of soup and snatched it up before the hyenas got to it. That, along with some Nyquil, was my diet last night.

Thankfully, fall was officially upon us today, and it was rainy and ugly. While this was ideal for being a bum, it doesn't help people who love summer, like me. And we only had three weeks of summer this year. I considered forcing my wrath upon the state, but instead decided to share all my favorite Washington summer pictures. Unfortunately, being that this is Washington, there aren't many good summer pictures.

I walk on this trail everyday. I like it because it's pretty. The dogs like it because there are BUNNIES!

But sometimes we get bored and desire mud and disgusting smells. So we make the five minute journey to this place; along the way, we have the pleasure of Divity losing control of all her bodily functions.

Huh. That picture looked much nicer when it was big. Look at all that gross stuff. The dogs love it. Go figure.

The beach is like dog crack. Also, I'm thinking of buying dog sunglasses because it would be hilarious.

 If I'm feeling like I really need to hate my life, I bring along our neighbor's dog. That's her about to tackle me.

Notice that the Nugget is not in any of these pictures. He doesn't like water, because anywhere we go he ends up practically drowning while the other dogs aren't even up to their ankles.

Thank goodness there is a nice little hiking trail right by the beach where he can go and collect ticks. I can't complain too much because Jordan and I showed up at just the right time for this.

Those are, in fact, raspberries. They were so pretty, we didn't want to eat them. Until I made raspberry oat bars.

This is Capitol Lake, in downtown Olympia. During the summer, people hang out here to smoke pot and have drum circles. Yeah, I don't know. But the grass is sure nice.

It was a whopping 85 degrees that day. Scorching.

But do not fear. My world is bigger than just Capitol Lake. Take this area, for example. It's right in between the small towns of "I think you missed that turn" and "Are you sure this is where we're supposed to go."

We go there to have shooting contests, play in the mud, destroy the axles on our trucks, and be classy. Observe:

Yeah. That's pure dignity.

One of the best parts about living in Washington is that we can make day trips to the Olympic Peninsula. Don't be fooled by the fact that these pictures were taken in the middle of July. It was beyond cold. I wore my galoshes.

I wore them to Ocean Shores...

...to go look at gigantic plants...

   

...and to go to Ruby Beach.

No, that picture wasn't taken during the winter. That was during the heat of the summer. Which is why galoshes are so important.

Galoshes definitely come in handy.

Don't let me turn you off of Washington. Bear in mind that I am from New Mexico, where rain is the most valuable thing around. Before G.I. Joe and I went to go visit family down south, they all begged us to bring the rain with us. We did, and the entire state ended up being under a flash flood warning. 

Go big or go home.

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas

G.I. Joe doesn't like enchiladas. I KNOW. I too questioned whether he should be seen by a doctor. We're from New Mexico. It's truly an abomination.

I decided to take on the challenge of making enchiladas that he would like. These might do the trick.

Great success.

He literally devoured these. I thought I was going to lose my hand reaching for seconds. I took out all the things he didn't like in traditional enchiladas (Corn tortillas and pre-made enchilada. Boy doesn't like cornbread either. Again, I KNOW.)

I served these with a bit of homemade pico de gallo that I pulled together from the stuff I had in my fridge, and he devoured that too.

I love pico de gallo, maybe even more than I love salsa. It's just so pretty. Here's a good recipe if you've never made it before: http://allrecipes.com/

Just spoon it over the enchiladas. It's tots amaze. My husband has threatened me with duct tape if I don't stop saying the word, "tots", as in "totally."

Let's get going, because I'm already getting hungry again.

First get some chicken together. And not the boneless, skinless breasts, but thighs and drumsticks. About six of them. Or go full throttle and get an entire cut-up fryer chicken. Now is the time to go big or go home. Place your chicken in a big pot, and add a pinch of salt.

My chicken is golden. It's emitting yummy rays. Now fill the pot with enough water to cover up the chicken.

That is quite an action shot. I am obviously a genius photographer.

Cover, bring the water to boil, and then let it simmer for 30 minutes.

In the meantime, cut the jalapeno in half and seed it.

Now dice the halves up. And DO NOT touch your eyes without washing very thoroughly. I do this every time I'm around jalapenos. It's like my eyeballs have jalapeno juice magnets in them.

Get out your medium onion.

Please don't judge my dicing. It's terrible and I'm embarrassed, but dicing is scary. And I have no hand-eye coordination. Make me proud.

Your chicken should be done by now.

That is not so pretty. Thankfully, it gets better.

I'm glad someone likes my cooking.


On a side note, I inadvertently bought the most wonderful paper towels. They are not indestructible or soak up a ton of icky, but I never want to buy a different roll of paper towels ever again.

Magical.

Back to the enchiladas. Take 3 small cans of green chile and dice them up. I happen to have roasted green chile that we smuggled from New Mexico, which works amazingly. It should absolutely be illegal, like cocaine. During green chile season, the entire state goes out of control. It's a very dangerous time.

Pick your heat carefully. That is not for the faint of taste buds.


Heat up two tablespoons of canola oil in a skillet, and dump in your onions and jalapenos. Stir them around and let them cook for only about a minute, just to get the heating process started.

Now add the shredded chicken, half of the green chiles, and half the paprika.

This is so exciting. Now you can add that chicken broth.

Just a half cup, and stir it around.

Your kitchen smells amazing right now, I promise you. Now you can add the heavy cream. I imagine that you're resisting the idea of heavy cream. Do it. I did, because I'm a naughty girl and naughty girls have all the fun.

Naughty.

Stir it in, and let it bubble up, get hot, and reduce a bit.

I almost threw in the towel right then and there and ate this with a fork. But I didn't, because I'm not that naughty.

Get out your tortillas. Feel free to use corn ones, just make sure to soften them over a bit of oil in a heated skillet. Otherwise they crack and that's just yuck.

Now we make the creamy enchilada sauce. And this part is magical, if I do say so myself. It's time for butter.

Just a dab.

Add a bit of flour.

Stir it in with a whisk, because otherwise you will get little chunks. Using a whisk ensures your little mixture will be smooth and delightful. Now you can pour in the remaining chicken broth. Stir it in real nice-like.

Throw in the green chile and stir that in too. At this point, it's a good idea to switch to a spatula or wooden spoon. I didn't do that, because I'm a space cadet. Do as I say, not as I do.

Once that's stirred in, add the sour cream. It'll melt a bit, and you get the job of mixing it into the sauce. Life is terrible.

Once it's nice and mixed, it should look like something from your dreams.

Have we met before? Your creaminess looks familiar.

Perhaps we should add some paprika, salt, and pepper to jog my memory.

 

Throw in some cayenne pepper if you're feeling adventurous. Stir that in. 

I love cheese. Allow me to demonstrate.

I thought this sauce was missing something.

Clearly, every recipe needs a big honkin' pile of cheese.

Set that aside. Grab a tortilla and fill it with the corn mixture.

Maybe some more cheese would be a good idea.

Yes, that was a good idea. Now roll up the tortilla and place it seam side down in a casserole dish or pan.

That is just sad. We should fix the problem.

Like piggies wrapped in blankets. I plan to be a piggie later with this dish.

Cover the enchiladas with the sauce. Use all of it. Don't be shy.

Throw some more cheese on there if you feel like it. Don't beat yourself up. Just let it happen.

Bake for about 30 minutes, until you just can't stand it anymore.

Ohhhhhhhhh...

Hooray! Now you can carefully cut it up and put it on your plate. Or, if you're like me, jab a spatula into the middle of the pan, shovel out some tortillas, drag it across the table, spilling all the way, and chuck it onto your plate. Not pretty, but highly effective.

Add some pico de gallo, if you feel so inclined. Or salsa or hot sauce or nothing. It's time to spread your wings.

The leftovers lasted less than half a day. Oh, and the whole thing about G.I. Joe not liking enchiladas?

That was his plate.

Creamy Chicken Enchiladas

Ingredients
      -2 1/2 cups cooked, shredded chicken
      -2 cups of chicken broth
      -3 tablespoons of canola oil
      -7 medium flour tortillas
      -1 whole onion, diced
      -12 oz of green chile, fresh roasted or canned
      -1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
      -1 teaspoon of paprika (cayenne pepper is optional)
      -1/2 cup of heavy cream
      -2 tablespoons of butter
      -2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
      -1 cup of sour cream
      -2 1/2 cups of shredded Mexican blend cheese
      -Salt and pepper to taste

Directions
      1. Place the chicken in a pot and cover with water. Cover the pot, and put on high heat to boil, then lower to a simmer. Allow to simmer for 30 minutes. Remove the chicken from the pot, and shred. Set aside.

      2. Heat 2 tbsp of oil in a large skillet, and add the diced onion and jalapeno. Stir and cook for one minute, then add the shredded chicken, half of the chiles and half of the paprika. Stir and cook for two more minutes. Add in 1/2 cup of chicken broth, and let the mixture cook for several minutes. Pour in the heavy cream, mix in, and allow the chicken mixture to heat up and bubble, stirring occasionally. Set aside.

     3. In another skillet, melt the butter. Once the butter is melted, add in the flour and gently blend together with a whisk. Pour in the remaining 1 1/2 cup of chicken broth, mixing into the flour mixture. Add remaining green chiles and mix in. Put the sour cream into the sauce, and use a spatula to distribute into thoroughly blended. Sprinkle on paprika, salt, and pepper, as well as cheese, and stir until spices are incorporated and cheese is melted. Set aside.

     4. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Hold a tortilla in one hand, and use a spoon to put a helping of the chicken mixture on top. Add some cheese, roll up the tortilla, and place seam side down in the dish. Continue with remaining tortillas and chicken.

     5. Pour the cheese sauce over the tortillas, and sprinkle with a small amount of shredded cheese, if desired.

     6. Bake for 30 minutes until edges are golden brown and bubbling. Serve with a spatula, separating the tortillas. Garnish with pico de gallo, salsa, or cilantro.