However, my body never told my brain that it planned to be sick. As such, I have been hacking and fishing green tissues out of my pockets. So I sent him off to the baseball game with some friends, because friends are more entertaining than a phlegm-filled Den Mother. As a result, I am spending the evening watching movies, painting my nails, and thinking of reasons why life is not fair.
And because I love you, readers, I decided to list the things that aren't fair.
1. I went to the dentist today, like a good girl. They told me I have FOUR tiny cavities that need to be filled. Because I don't do enough things I hate in the name of my teeth.
2. No matter how much I vacuum and sweep, there is always dirt five minutes later. I have briefly considered not cleaning, then quickly succumbed to a panic attack.
3. Normal people can't afford these boots:
You know, because they have bills to pay and stuff. If you can afford them, we don't like you, and you can buy them here: http://www.net-a-porter.com
4. The world hasn't realized that everybody is entitled to my opinion.
5. Puppies are terribly cute, and it's very difficult NOT to adopt them. This is why we have three.
6. There will always be somebody who is prettier, smarter, or better at the thing you are best at.
7. There is only so many times you can blame the oven for an epic baking fail.
8. The saddest movies are always on TV when you're home alone and overly emotional.
9. The people you went to high school with are fun to stalk online. And it's very addictive.
10. When you're in a bad mood, every bad driver comes out onto the road. Also, radio stations play terrible songs, and Wendy's runs out of chocolate Frosties.
Glad I could make your day.
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