Aneurysm = New Boots

G.I. Joe and I live in Washington, where it is winter nine months out of the year. And not pretty, softly falling snow winter, but cold, icy winter. As a result, I wear boots all the time. Except now, when summer finally decided to show up and I essentially wear flip-flops to bed. I have a delightful pair of boots I bought in New Mexico, and they have served me well. However, we left Divity to her own devices for more than 30 seconds one day, and she ate them as a snack. Are they wearable? Yes. Are they still comfortable? Absolutely. But the heel is chewed up and is not very attractive. My husband does not understand why I need a new pair of boots. I counter all of his arguments by reminding him that the creature who did this to my boots is the same one he addresses by "Princess."

I'm sorry, let's have another look. I don't think my point was clear enough.

That is NOT an innocent face. That is not a dog. That is Shiva, Destroyer of the Worlds.

Even worse, she has been training my little angel to follow in her very messy footsteps. He used to be such a delight, but lately...

Look at those eyes! I'm quaking in my destroyed boots.

We digress. Now is not the time for blame. I need to take action. Action being that I need to buy a new pair of boots, and possibly keep them locked in a safety deposit box.

I have come up with several options, and, in the effort of being civilized, I am only going to choose one pair. For now. Let's take a look-see:

1. I have seriously been considering buying a pair of Uggs. I have visions of myself wearing a cute little skirt and scarf, my cheeks pink from the cold and hair wind-blown. These visions usually come after my second glass of wine.

Look how soft! Look how comfy! Look how stumpy my legs will look! While the vision is a bit misplaced, these will look darn nice come snow and rain. Find them at www.uggaustralia.com/.

        2. I love to fantasize about my clothes. Often, I pretend that I am in perfect shape and have no limit on my credit cards. Then I mentally go shopping. Here is my latest fantasy purchase:

I am quivering with excitement just looking at this picture. If I only had a few hundred bucks just laying around. If anyone at the Frye Company can hear me, send these. In a size 8, I beg you. www.thefryecompany.com

        3. Here is my final choice. This is the most viable one, because I love G.I. Joe and our collective credit rating, and am prepared to make sacrifices to protect its integrity. Yes, please, weep for my hardships.

This particular boot comes in black, gray, and brown. I love me a gray boot, but this particular color has been dubbed "Whiskey." Frankly, that kind of cinches the deal. Or I could just buy all three pairs. www.endless.com

I can hear my dad, brothers, and G.I. Joe sighing collectively. I would like to remind them that this whole debacle is not my fault and I'm simply trying to save my fragile little toes from the cold.