Late Nights and Cake Cravings

When G.I. Joe leaves, my routine changes. Basically, I become a complete weirdo, and I eat at odd hours. Not even real meals, I just graze all day long. And it's really strange food combinations.

The day he left, I bought pickles, bacon, juice, bread, and Reese's Cups. Oh, and a cantaloupe. Who eats like that? Me, apparently.

But moving on. You know those nights when you're watching What Not to Wear by yourself, and wishing you had friends like Stacy and Clinton to say "Shut the front door!" when you look awesome? Those are also the nights when the chocolate cake cravings hit the hardest. Frankly, who wants to put on real pants, get their keys and shuffle out to grocery store, only to be assault by walls of high fructose corn syrup?

Your savior has arrived. I have perfected the 5 Minute Mug Cake.

I first started trying out this recipe a while ago, and it always just came out really disappointing. It would burn, or get dry, or just taste downright bland. And I will have you know that I am not one to waste calories on something bland, even if it is chocolate based. I'm just too high class for that.

Thankfully, this version is easy. It's also amazing, rich, and the perfect chocolate satisfaction. I love tooting my own horn.

This is, in short, not an attractive recipe. It should not be used to impress anyone. In fact, it is best confused late at night, in front of the TV, while wearing sweat pants. Or unbuttoned jeans, if you're simply too lazy to put on sweat pants.

Here is your arsenal. I forgot to include the ground coffee, but I'm really not beating myself up about it, because it's optional. Also, bear in mind that milk is a more typical ingredient, versus heavy cream. I had some leftover from a previous recipe, and really, everything is better with some cream. But if you're a normal person, milk is perfect.

This recipe is for two servings. I am a pig, and made two servings in one giant mug. I will also admit that I ate the whole dang thing. I'm not even embarrassed.

Get out two regular coffee mugs, and mix up half of the dry ingredients in each. Or put it all in one huge mug.

This has all the dry ingredients, plus the ground coffee. My friend Jordan actually introduced the idea of using a bit of coffee in chocolate recipes. I was actually quite skeptical, but I took the road less traveled and it has made all the difference.

Thanks for making me sound smarter, Robert Frost.

But in all seriousness, a bit of ground coffee, or some very rich brewed coffee makes the chocolate that much richer and more delightful.

Add in the milk (or cream), oil, vanilla, and whipped up egg. Add in some chocolate chips, as many as you feel are necessary.

That picture is terrible. I think it needs a little something extra.

Much better.

Cover the mug(s) with plastic wrap, and pop them in the microwave. Set the microwave on medium power, and cook for about one minute. Check the batter, then microwave for an additional 30 seconds. You don't want to coked all the way through, it will keep cooking for a bit when you take them out of the microwave. Try inserting a toothpick- if it comes out with just a bit of batter, it's perfect. If not, keep cooking at 30 second intervals.

The result is not pretty.

But it was absolutely delicious.

I even unbuttoned my jeans for this occasions.

Note: You can get creative with this, and add ice cream, whip cream, Bailey's Irish Cream, etc. I was greedy and just ate it plain. I'm happy to report it was still nom nom nom.

Microwave Mug Cake

Ingredients
    -4 tbsp of all-purpose flour
    -5 tbsp of sugar
    -1 tsp of baking powder
    -1/2 tsp of ground coffee (optional)
    -1 egg, beaten
    -3 tbsp of milk (or cream)
    -3 tbsp of oil
    -Splash of vanilla extract
    -3 tbsp (or more) of chocolate chips/flakes
    - 2 mugs

Directions

1. Place dry ingredients in equal portions in the two mugs. Stir the dry ingredients until fully combined, ensuring there is no flour stuck to the bottom of the mugs.
2. Pour in milk, oil, vanilla, and chocolate chips. Whisk the egg and pour half into each mug. Stir until combined.
3. Add extra chocolate chips to the top of the batter, if desired, and cover with plastic wrap.
4. Microwave one at a time, on medium heat, for 1 minute. Check the batter, and microwave for 30 seconds. Test using a toothpick; if the batter is not done, microwave for an additional 30 seconds. Do not overcook.
5. Serve warm with ice cream, if desired.