Thankfully, G.I. Joe also loves breakfast. In fact, we find it very reasonable to buy a five dozen crate of eggs for two people, especially because we know they will all be eaten in a week. There is something very wrong with that.
The one unfortunate part of breakfast is that you have to cook it right after you wake up. I have gotten to the point where I don't actually remember how I make breakfast in the mornings; I just end up with a plate full of greasy deliciousness.
But on the days that I do feel motivated to broaden my horizons, the results are usually tots amaze. Sorry about the use of that phrase. I have been watching too much Project Runway.
This was one of those days. And I made scones. They were wonderful. Observe.
Om nom nom. I realize these pictures aren't beautiful, but frankly, these are scones. With chocolate. What more do you want from me?
As recipes go, this one is pretty basic. The key is being awesome. That's really about it. Start with flour, cinnamon, baking powder, and sugar.
Cut up some butter and throw it in the bowl.
Maybe a little bit more.
I am a crusader for health. You're very welcome.
Just so you know, as I'm writing this, I'm getting farted on by a sleeping puppy. And yet I'm still forging on, so that I might provide you with carb-joy.
Get out your trusty pastry cutter, and mash it all together until you get a coarse meal texture.
These pictures are really terrible, but at least you can see the little bits of butter poking out. It's like they're saying hi. Hi, butter!
There is something wrong with my ability to take pictures. I'm sorry to subject you to this, but I feel like pictures make everything better. Except my pictures, apparently.
Let's make ourselves feel better with another terrible pictures. Thankfully, this next one has chocolate in it.
Yeah. Just pour it all in, and stir it up.
Now it's time to bring out the heavy arsenal. Very heavy. Heavy on my belly. And thighs. And booty.
Pour some heavy cream into a bowl, add one egg, and a splash of vanilla. I discovered the joy of real vanilla extract fairly recently, and it is delightful. G.I. Joe bought me my first bottle. It was a good day.
That, my loves, is a glass bottle, as well as pure class. I'm moving up in the world.
Blend all of that up, and pour it into the dry ingredients. Blend it all up until it looks like the type of dough you would just throw away on any other occasion.
It doesn't look amazing. No matter, you will not be disappointed.
Turn the dough onto a floured surface, and use your hands to pat it out flat. This would be the time to pick your weapon, if there are other people in the house. I personally use a large wooden spoon. The "thwack" noise it makes when you hit somebody with it is so satisfying.
This would be a nice oval shape, except for that huge chunk missing up on the left. The spoon never made contact with G.I. Joe when he stole that piece. Frankly, I'm surprised any of this dough made contact with the oven.
Now we get to make the topping. This is another very healthy addition. Take a little bit of heavy cream, cinnamon, and sugar, and mix it all up. I made my topping a little more liquid than it should be, mostly because I wanted to sop up the rest with my fingers. I know, I'm a bad role model. This is what mine looked like, if you have any common sense, yours will be nice and crumbly.
Those are some good looking calories.
Sprinkle this little delight over your flattened dough. Use as much as you like. A lot is best. Remember, more is more.
Cut out wedges from the coated dough. I have this handy-dandy plastic pizza cutter do-dad that has served me well. It was a much better give-away than a Frisbee.
I really am embarrassed by how bad those wedges are. But I feel like the fact that I was fighting an epic hungry Army man battle should justify my poor cutting skills. Deal with it.
Once you cut up the dough, put it on a baking sheet. It's almost time for lift-off.
Those are awfully pretty, I say to myself. Meanwhile, you're thinking, "Those are terrible. That vanilla extract must have really gotten to her."
Bake your hopefully prettier than mine wedges in the oven. Let them cool on a wire rack. Or don't. Mine didn't make it to the cooling stage.
These were so delicious. I took them with me when G.I. Joe and I went on romantic outing. Romantic outing being we stood in the dirt and shot old speakers. He's mushy like that.
Like my little mask in the background? I decorated it myself with a Sharpie.
You should make these. Seriously. And not just for breakfast.
Although breakfast is good.
Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Scones
Ingredients
-3 cups of all-purpose flour
-1/3 cup of sugar
-5 teaspoons of baking powder
-1 teaspoon of cinnamon
-1 cup (2 sticks) of unsalted butter, cut up
-3/4 cups of heavy cream
-1 large egg
-1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
-1 cup of chocolate chips
-Topping
-1/2 cup of sugar
-1 teaspoon of cinnamon
-1 1/2 teaspoon of heavy cream
Ingredients
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, mix the flour, sugar, cinnamon, and baking powder. Add the butter, and use a pastry cutter to incorporate the butter into the dry ingredients until it resembles coarse meal. Mix in the chocolate chips.
3. Stir together the cream, egg, and vanilla extract, then pour into the flour and butter mixture, mixing gently to combine.
4. Lightly flour a work surface, and turn the dough onto the surface. The dough will be very crumbly. Use your hands to press together the dough bits, and form into a large circle or rectangle, about 3/4 of a inch thick.
5. Mix together the topping ingredients in a small bowl, and sprinkle over the top of the dough. Lightly press in.
6. Cut the dough into wedges and transfer to a cookie sheet. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, allow to cool completely. Devour with coffee and pajamas.
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