Mud = Good

Let me make something clear:

I have nothing against dirt. Even though I try to keep it out of my house, between three dogs and G.I. Joe, it's impossible. And let's be honest, I live in Washington. You can't escape mud. Seriously, you can't. I cannot stress this enough.

That mud sticks around. We got some on our truck, and can't seem to get it all off.

Have you ever gotten pulled over for having a vehicle that's too muddy? I have. It's very embarrassing.


Let me make something else clear:

That brown stuff all over the place can make for a very expensive facial/body wrap. But I'm cheap, and I love cheap things, especially this delightful little marvel below.

This, my friends, is my ugly little secret. The packaging is hideous, and the contents aren't much better. It is literally one of the most unglamorous face products you can find, short of Milk of Magnesia (which does wonders for pimples, by the way).

A fabulous roommate introduced me to this stuff, and even though I was tentative, I tried it. Clay has changed my life. My skin has old brown acne scars, constant breakouts, and GIGANTIC pores. Don't shake your head and roll your eyes at me. They look gigantic to me.

You mix some up in a bowl with water, and smooth it over your face into a very sexy face mask. Observe:

Dang. That is a good look. Thanks to Jordan, for making this picture possible. Nice bandana. I got Jordan hooked on it as well, which I'm very proud of.

You can keep it on anywhere from fifteen to thirty minutes. It will probably get dry around the edges and itch like crazy and you will just want to rip your face off. DON'T DO IT. Trust me.

Everybody's doing it.

See? You know you want to be a part of this club.

Even Bo is in on it.

Here he is, telling me thank you for making him a beautiful princess. Now that I see this picture, I realize we need to have a heart-to-heart about him licking gross, weird feet. That foot looks like a road map of the Rocky Mountains. That foot, by the way, is attached to me. Sigh.

Anyway, you wash the mud off once it's dried. Your skin will be a little red afterwards, but that clears up fast. You will wake up tomorrow with gorgeous, smooth skin. It's radiant! Beautiful! With small pores! And you will feel better because I just saved you a hundred bucks with my recessionista savvy.

And you will look like this:

Ok, so you won't look like this. Especially with just a cheap little jar of clay. But, hey, it's one step closer. Find my (literally) dirty little secret here: www.vitaminshoppe.com