Edumacation

 Lately, I have been running into some school trouble, and it's really just driving me crazy. I have considered throwing in the towel, and hopefully finding a job that gives me a hefty salary for being awesome. That said, everybody needs a reminder of how delightfully intelligent they are.

I usually find that spouting off smart and unusual facts makes me seem more intelligent than I am. It's an acquired skill, and a great party trick, kind of like being able to lick your elbow, or rub your stomach while patting your head.

You run the risk of sounding like a living Snapple cap, but with a little luck and a decent audience of six-year-olds, you can sound like the coolest person around. Come, let me show you the way.

1.  Your thumb is as long as your nose, from tip to thenar space webbing. (Additional fun fact: the thenar space is the spot between your thumb and forefinger.)
2. The average person spends two weeks of their life waiting for traffic lights to change.
3. Giraffes cannot swim.
4. Nutmeg is poisonous if injected intravenously.
5. A grouping of jellyfish is called a smack.
6. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.
7. Statistically, the safest year of life is age ten.
8. The word clavicle means "little key" because it connects every other bone in the chest.
9. The head's picture on a penny weighs slightly more than the tail picture.
10. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
11. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks, otherwise it will digest itself.
12. Every lick of stamp is roughly 1/10 of a calorie.
13. The name "Wendy" was made up for the Peter Pan story. There was never a previously recorded Wendy.
14. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven times.
15. Pearls melt in vinegar.
16. A duck's quack doesn't echo.
17. A cow can walk upstairs, but not downstairs.
18. A snail can sleep for three years.
19. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
20. Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.

How's that for an edumacation?